As for myself, I dont know whats going on. Its hard to explain what I felt last night. Really so disappointed. Like Ive said. I shall forget about it. Since I gotta sacrifice that big day. May that party be a success one. Atleast making someone happy might make me feel better. How I really wish I could turn back time but too bad, I cant. If its possible, I will never make the same big fucking mistake again.

I hardly have time for myself. All I could do is either rot at home, look after Ryan, watch tv, eat, sleep & do all the house chores. Wth. Its sickening. If I could switch rolls with gup. That will be super great. Atleast I could meet my friends whenever I get the chance to go for nights out. I could release my stress & have a break. See girls. Its not easy being a young mother. Boys will only be super duper ultra nice at the first sigh. Just give them 6mths. They will surely change after that. Trust me! Fuck!